Nature In Your Nurture

Nature Nanny or Nature School?

There are many Pros and Cons that go into answering the Nanny vs School question in general, and we certainly won’t try to get to all of them here. Bear in mind also that nature schools vary widely in practice from nature-in-name to full-on forest schools.
Nature School Pros:
– There are other children to interact with.
– There may be a consistent natural space for children to play in.
– There will likely be care available even if one of the teachers is sick.
Nature School Cons:
– There may not be care available if your child is sick.
– There may be a waitlist to get in.
– Most nature schools do not offer anything for toddlers.
– You do not control who teaches or plays at that school.
Nature Nanny Pros:
– Your child can engage in some variety of nature play at any age.
– Your child can explore a variety of natural settings.
– You can dictate what locations your child can visit and who they plan to meet up with.
– Neurodivergent children who struggle in school settings can receive more individualized care and accommodations (and the person overseeing their training in neurodiversity-affirming care is you).
– A full-time nanny may be willing to work with your child when they are ill.
Nature Nanny Cons:
– Sometimes your nanny will be sick and you will need to have alternative childcare arrangements available.
– There is normally no HR in nannying, so all discussions of performance or compensation will need to be worked out directly.

Choosing a Nanny

It’s important for parents to have a high degree of shared values together. It’s rarely 100%. It’s also important to choose a nanny/parent dynamic where you have some shared values and compatible communication styles. This is true even when the nanny has very high qualifications. This is true even when the family offers very good pay.

First impressions are valuable, but when interviewing, you want to be yourself as much as possible. Parents, if your kitchen counter is consistently covered in miscellaneous clutter, you want a nanny who’s comfortable working in that kind of space.

Nanny Duties

A nanny is not a housekeeper. Nannying usually includes the care of children, tidying play spaces, cleaning up paint spills, and clearing children’s dishes and crumbs after meals. There are additional duties your nanny may be willing to provide, but they are no way implied by the position. These duties often require higher pay, and would need to be part of your employment agreement:
– Children’s laundry
– Household dishes, unloading or running the dishwasher
– Walking, feeding, or cleaning up after pets
– General vacuuming, sweeping, dusting, window cleaning, etc.
– Cooking or dinner prep
– Running errands
– Availability for babysitting or extended hours
Someone who markets themselves as a Household Manager likely offers additional services and you should ask about what these would be.

Communicating Boundaries, Rules & Expectations

When checking in about house expectations in the past, I’ve been told “I trust your judgement–whatever you think is best.” Of course I want to know I have the parents’ trust, but there are a few problems with this response:

1. Assumptions: You’ve hired your nanny because you see eye-to-eye about some things that are important to you, but this doesn’t mean you’ll agree on everything or that your nanny will be able to intuitively anticipate your wishes and values.
2. Inconsistencies: Be clear about what your own limits are (especially regarding risky play), notify a nanny when those limits are changing, and otherwise keep them clear and consistent. It sounds silly, but oscillating back and forth between two wildly different perspectives and correcting the nanny back and forth within a day’s time creates perpetually-unwinnable situations and a stressful working environment for a nanny.
3. Division: Conversations about expectations should include every parent in the home. Asking a nanny to disregard the expectations of another parent is a solid recipe for an unfair situation–don’t ask your nanny to choose a side, or even to try to play both sides.

When expectations are unclear, or change several times a day, it creates confusion for children and caregivers alike. Identify the child development ideals your family aspires to and be honest with yourself and your caregivers about where you (and any coparents) are on those journeys. Never make your nanny choose which parent to listen to. If there are gaps in comfort levels that you’re working to overcome, try pushing those limits by 10% instead of shooting for the full 100% and continue communicating directly when those boundaries are changing. Every family is different and no two households work the same way, so communicating the things that feel “obvious” to you is still really important. Please clarify when a nanny asks about boundaries, rules, or expectations.

Family Manual

I believe in face-to-face communication when transitioning the child between adults at the beginning and end of each day. During the workday, though, a parent may be out of the house or otherwise unavailable. There is nothing too small to communicate with a new caretaker, but it would be difficult to think of everything in one conversation, and it’s much easier to discuss it as a household and write it all down–which also makes the same information available to anyone new who’s providing back-up care.

This family manual template includes emergency information, medication authorization, injury documentation, daily routines, household expectations, child profiles, and how to run the laundry or dishwasher if needed. I recommend going over it section by section before interviewing caregivers and filling more in as you discuss expectations together.

Daily Sheets

Daily sheets allow easy documentation of meals and toileting through the day along with special moments from the day. There are also various apps out there that take it paperless.